Told him I loved him. And meant every word.
He was cute.
Funny.
Sweet.
Caring.
And we got along great.
I thought we were perfect.
We didn't always talk a lot. But when we did.
It was amazing. Lots of laughs, smiles and jokes.
Sometimes, we didn't need to talk but just say hey.
He made everything seem better. Helped me reason things out without even realizing it.
I wanted him to be my everything.
Or as much as he could be.
There was a distance between us.
But that wouldn't matter.
I wanted to love him, and for him to love me.
I would have gone to him.
Taken weeks off for him.
And then....
He stopped.
Stopped, caring. I guess.
Stopped falling for me.
As he says.... And my heart shatters. I feel it give out.
I don't cry. Don't really know what to say.
Except. I should have known.
And the loneliness grows. Threatens to overwhelm me.
Take me and throw me.
But I must be strong. After all, hes just a boy right?
And I don't need one of those. I just would like someone to love.
To call mine. To have and to hold.
So what do I do?
Do I try and stop my feelings?
Try and pretend none of those were there?
PSH Fuck That.
They were real. And I cared about him deeply.
And if he wants to just stop. Then he can.
But I won't. I wouldn't be me if I did.
I don't give up like that.
Even when I want to....
And eventually when my feelings aren't met. They will disappear on their own.
They will displace and find other things to attach to.
But until then. I will love him.
Even if he doesn't talk to me.
Because at least I tried. And didn't give up.
....
Or maybe I'll just ignore it until I cry my eyes out.
Then it will be okay. Because I cried, and got it out.
Whatever I do.
I know I'll still care about him.
Maybe he'll realize that...
Or maybe someone else will.
Just gotta keep moving forward.
Pushing forward.
Nothing ever has or will hold me back.
Just minor hurtle's to over come.
And if your reading this.... You should look up the song:
Corner of your heart by Ingrid Michaelson.
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