Sometimes.
Its hard to function. Its hard to breath. To think without running in circles. And then I remember, its all going to be okay. No one is going to die. No one is hurt. Theres no need to freak out. I wish I remembered that always, I think that would save me a lot of heartache. But thats just an idea.
Today was my only day off, you know what I did? I slept. Almost all day until 2:30pm. It felt so wonderful. And then, I did nothing. Honestly, I sat around the house until almost 9pm and then I went out and ran some errands with Darien and got food. Glorious food. :)
I went to see Despicable me with a couple of my co-workers. OMG IT WAS AMAZING. I loved that movie. I would see it again and again. So cute and funny, and it has such a cute story/meaning. :) "FLUFFY!" Good movie. :D
I'm not at all looking forward to working tomorrow. I have to clean the small animals. I do not want to clean the small animals. Let me tell you. :( But I'll manage. Somehow. Not exactly sure how I'm going to manage yet, BUT I will. I work till 2pm which will not be fun either. BUT I just made plans with Adrian :D I loves him, and havn't seen him in what feels like ages. Its going to be so nice to see him.
Life has been....
Honestly uneventful besides my stress hives. Oh and my ex talking to me. Constantly. Wanting to take me out and do stuff with me and basically wanting to get back with me. And honestly, i got past my anger. I got past everything. I can be his friend and have no problems at all. Just stop trying to get back with me! There is no us anymore. And I don't think he understands that. I probably am going to have to stop talking to him. But thats what I gotta do.
I'm also rather upset that Michael isn't talking to me again. For the second time. After asking if he was going to do this again. So if he wants to talk to me. He can contact me. D<>
Which brings me to another point in my life. I don't think I care about anyone anymore. It just hurts too much to. So I just stopped. Ouchies right? Eh. Its a little better that way. Because I can put all my love into other things. My friends, family, and work. I don't need to love a man. I know I keep saying this, but its not enough to just say it. I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to get at, or even what I'm trying to say. Just that, I'm done I guess. I have no interest in being in any sort of romance..... thats a lie. I have a lot of interest in being with someone romantically, just not the energy or means to. I just want to skip all the dating and bullshit and get straight to loving each other. I don't want to get to know someone and then have them turn out to be a dickface. I just want to know they are a good person, that they care about me, and I care about them. And want to be with them, and so on and so forth. But... No. I guess you could say I'm too young for things like that, but it doesn't stop me from wanting something like that. I just want simple, because everything around me is not. Oye.
I'll be starting another blog with my best friend Sasha. Its going to be one of writings and photography. :D I'm honestly really excited I just need to start writing again. And this will help. Just to get out everything I'm trying to say and be able to write in general. It will all help. So I'm excited. I hope people follow it and what not. ^^
Good night. I'm tired and need to sleep for my oh so hard day tomorrow.
Off to play pokemon. <3
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