I am ultimate hope.

I don't understand why people criticize me so much.

Probably because they think I'm stupid, that I never learn.

That I'm always going to get hurt.

But none of that matters to me.

I believe in will.

We have free will for a reason.

I believe that people CAN change, and they will.

If they have the right guidance.

No one is perfect. Thats what makes us human.

Everyone makes mistakes, they fuck up.

And they need to start over again.

I don't care that much about my own happiness.

Because what makes me happy, is that other people are happy.

I want to help people.

I like to help people.

I just wish everyone would understand that.

I believe so strongly in people to make the right decisions.

I am ultimate hope in that sense.

I'll never give up until I've had enough.

Which usually takes quiet a while.

Theres only been three people I've wanted.

That I've set my mind to and have gotten.

Because I made a decision.

They were mine.

There has been three of them.

Every single one of them needed me in some way.

One changed and started to become something amazing.

One fucked up royally, and will never be anything.

And one has the chance to change everything.

And I wouldn't change anything that I have done.

Because I learned more and more about people.

How they function.

How they work.

How they learn.

I have learned.

What I'm doing will hurt me in the end.

I know this.

But I do it anyway.

My need to help exceeds anything else.

Any reason. Any logic.

Its just pure endless faith.

....

And everyone will be mad at me for it.

Everyone will be angry...

Which upsets me like no other...

And I could just say fuck him.

Like everyone else wants me to.

But he reached out for help.

He ASKED me to go with him to the doctor.

To get his depression taken care of.

How can I say no?

When he reached out to me?

How can I turn the other cheek?

....

I personally, can't.