V is for vanity....

Well currently the song I'm obsessed with is Vanity.

And I have a HUGE decision in front of me.

BUT i should mention that I still could not get the job.

Prizum (my third job) offered me a part time job thing.

Monday-Friday

5am-1pm

Two weeks on, one week off.

$10-12 dollars an hour.

Doing Jewel reset.

Like, thats a lot of money.

BUT, lets consider the following....

I'd still be working at Petsmart at nights, sooo after 2pm.

I love Petsmart more and enjoy it more.

Not to mention I'm up for a promotion and if I took this job, I wouldn't get it.

Id be working anywhere from 50-70 hour work weeks depending on Petsmart.

And I've done that before.

It DRAINS me, kills me, I get depressed because I see no one, and I'm exhausted. All the time.

Like, I HATE working that many hours.

I can do 40 even 50.

But 60? 70? 80? No. I can't do it. I just, maybe for a week I could. But two weeks? Three weeks?

Fuck me.

IDK what to do.

And mind you, money is REALLY tight.

Really tight.

I barely eat anymore, and most of my money does to gas, bills, some food and anywhere/how I can help my family.

Like. We are JUST JUST JUUUUST making it.

I want to help but can barely do it myself.

Like. I need the money.

But right now I'm generally happy... just stressed....

Like.

IDK.

I don't want to hear my brother say hes hungry or get into more fights about money.

Or wonder if I'll eat today or not.

Someone help? :(